"The compulsion to rescue everyone else might be covering up something you can't bear to see - that part of you is still waiting to be rescued too."
If this resonates with you, what follows may help you see something about yourself.
Seeker
I’m exhausted. Everyone comes to me with their problems and I can’t say no. I see someone struggling and I have to help.
Companion
What happens when you don’t help?
Seeker
I feel terrible. Like I’m letting them down. They’re suffering and I could do something about it.
Companion
When did you first become the helper?
Seeker
What do you mean? I’ve always been like this.
Companion
Always? Even as a child?
Seeker
Yes, actually! My mom always had a lot going on. My dad worked all the time. I took care of my younger siblings.
Companion
Who took care of you?
Seeker
I didn’t need taking care of. I was fine.
Companion
Were you?
Seeker
I mean, I handled things. That’s just who I am.
Companion
You handled things. But that’s different from being fine. What did you actually need back then?
Seeker
I don’t know. It doesn’t matter now.
Companion
You help everyone who seems helpless. What do you see in them?
Seeker
They’re struggling. They need someone.
Companion
There’s something interesting here. You can spot helplessness from a mile away, but you say you never needed help yourself.
Seeker
Because I didn’t. I managed.
Companion
The helplessness you see so clearly in others is something you know intimately.
Seeker
I don’t understand.
Companion
You became the helper so young. Maybe because no one was coming to help you.
Seeker
I… shit. I was just a kid.
Companion
Yes. And that kid needed something.
Seeker
I needed someone to see that I was drowning too. But no one did.
Companion
So you became the person you needed.
Seeker
Oh god. I’m still doing it.
Companion
What are you still doing?
Seeker
I think I’m trying to save that kid. By saving everyone else. But she’s still there, waiting.
Companion
What does she need?
Seeker
To be rescued. Just once. To not have to be strong.
Companion
And every person you compulsively help?
Seeker
They’re me. They’re all me. I can’t stand to see them helpless because I’m still helpless.
Companion
What now?
Seeker
I don’t know. This hurts.
Who would you be if you stopped being the rescuer and admitted you need rescuing too?
If you want to sit with this question, SelfChatter's journal is built for exactly this kind of inner work.