If this resonates with you, what follows may help you see something about yourself.
SeekerI hate this about myself. Every time I feel even slightly uncomfortable, I’m on my phone. Anxious? Phone. Bored? Phone. Someone watching? Phone. Sad? Phone. It’s like I can’t sit with anything anymore.
GuideYes, I know that one. The phone becomes like this instant off-ramp from whatever’s happening inside. What kind of uncomfortable are we talking about?
SeekerAll kinds. Like yesterday, I was waiting for test results from the doctor, and I probably scrolled for three hours straight. Just mindless nothing. Instagram, news, whatever. I wasn’t even reading anything.
GuideJust moving. Just keeping the mind occupied.
SeekerExactly. And I know it’s bad for me. I’ve read all the articles about dopamine and attention spans. I’ve tried app timers, leaving my phone in another room. Nothing works.
GuideHm. I notice you’re focusing a lot on the phone itself. Like it’s the villain here.
SeekerWell, isn’t it? I mean, they’re designed to be addictive.
GuideSure, that’s true. But I’m curious about something else. When you were waiting for those test results, before you picked up the phone, what was happening in your body?
SeekerI don’t know. I was anxious, obviously.
GuideBut specifically. Like, where did you feel it? What did it feel like?
SeekerI… I don’t actually remember. I think I just grabbed my phone immediately.
GuideYes. Something I’ve been noticing in myself lately is that I often don’t even let the discomfort fully arrive before I’m already managing it. Like there’s this split-second where something uncomfortable starts to form, and boom, I’m already in motion to make it go away.
SeekerYes! That’s exactly it. It’s so automatic.
GuideI’ve been trying this thing where I just… don’t. Where I let the uncomfortable feeling actually be there. Not to analyze it or breathe through it or any technique. Just to see what it’s actually like to be uncomfortable.
SeekerThat sounds horrible.
GuideIt kind of is. But also, I’m starting to realize I’ve never actually learned how to just be uncomfortable. Like, when did anyone ever teach us that sometimes you just feel bad and that’s… fine?
SeekerNobody taught me that. My mom would immediately try to fix any bad feeling. Food, distraction, positive thinking, whatever.
GuideRight. So maybe the phone isn’t the real issue. Maybe it’s that you’re trying to never feel uncomfortable, and the phone is just your current tool for that.
SeekerFuck. Yes. That’s… yeah.
GuideI mean, I could be wrong. But when I started letting myself actually feel anxious without immediately fixing it, something shifted. Not that the anxiety went away. More like I stopped being afraid of feeling anxious.
SeekerI literally cannot imagine just sitting there feeling anxious and not doing anything about it.
GuideWhat do you think would happen if you did?
SeekerI don’t know. I guess I imagine I’d spiral or have a panic attack or something.
GuideMaybe. Or maybe you’d just feel anxious for a while and then it would shift on its own. But you won’t know until you try it.
SeekerThis is making me want to check my phone right now.
GuideAre you feeling uncomfortable?
SeekerYes. This whole conversation is uncomfortable.
GuideSo what’s happening right now? In your body?
SeekerMy chest feels tight. My hands are kind of tingly. I have this urge to move.
GuideAnd you’re still here. Still talking to me. The discomfort hasn’t killed you.
GuideThat’s interesting, isn’t it?
SeekerI guess it is. F*ck. I really have been running from every uncomfortable feeling my entire life, haven’t I?
GuideI don’t know about your entire life. But it sounds like you’re noticing a pattern.
If you read back the conversation: notice where the guide quietly became the one who knows — naming things, settling them. That feels normal because it happens so often. It's also where your own sense of direction can go quiet. SelfChatter adds a second voice that just makes those moments visible, so the direction stays yours.