"The traits you spot fastest in strangers are often the ones you refuse to spot in yourself. Contempt is a mirror with the light turned away from the floor."
If this resonates with you, what follows may help you see something about yourself.
Seeker
Honestly, I think like eighty percent of people are assholes. Maybe more. I’m not even being edgy, I just look around and that’s what I see.
Companion
Okay. I’m not going to pretend to agree just to keep things smooth. What does an asshole look like, to you? Like, specifically.
Seeker
Selfish. Talks over you. Pretends to care and doesn’t. Cuts in traffic. Punches down. Performs being nice in public and is a nightmare in private.
Companion
That’s a pretty detailed list.
Seeker
Because it’s everywhere.
Companion
Maybe. I’ve had stretches like that too, where the proof keeps showing up. But the detail is what catches me. You’ve got the type really pinned.
Seeker
What are you getting at?
Companion
I’m not sure yet. Something about how specific it is. Like you’ve studied it.
Seeker
I’ve had to.
Companion
Hm. Say more.
Seeker
People have burned me. More than once. So yeah, I pay attention now. I’d rather assume the worst and be wrong than the other way around.
Companion
That makes sense as a strategy. It’s also pretty expensive.
Seeker
It’s cheaper than being naive.
Companion
Maybe. Can I poke at one thing though. You said “performs being nice in public and is a nightmare in private.” That one was very fast.
Seeker
Because it’s the worst one.
Companion
Why that one specifically?
Seeker
Because it’s a lie. The whole thing is a lie.
Companion
Yeah. I hear that. I’m just noticing it’s the one that came out with the most heat.
Seeker
…okay. So what?
Companion
I don’t know. I’m asking.
Seeker
You think I do that.
Companion
I don’t know you well enough to think that. Do you?
Seeker
I mean. I’m polite at work. I’m not a nightmare at home but I’m not exactly easy either. Everyone does that to some degree.
Companion
Sure.
Seeker
It’s not the same thing.
Companion
Probably not. But the heat is interesting.
Seeker
You’re saying I’m calling other people assholes because I think I’m one.
Companion
I didn’t say that. I’m saying the list is detailed and the heat is high and that’s usually pointing at something.
Seeker
That’s annoying.
Companion
Yeah, I know.
Seeker
The selfish one bugs me too. I think I’m selfish. Sort of. I think I’m selfish and I hate it and I work really hard to not look like it.
Companion
Okay.
Seeker
So everyone who lets it show, I hate them.
Companion
Because they’re getting away with something you won’t let yourself get away with.
Seeker
Something like that. God, that’s tiring to say out loud.
Companion
Yeah.
Seeker
I don’t know what to do with that.
Companion
You don’t have to do anything with it right now.
Seeker
It doesn’t make them not assholes though.
Companion
No. Some of them probably are. The question is more about the eighty percent.
Seeker
Yeah. Yeah.
Which trait in other people do you spot fastest, and what would it cost you to admit you carry it too?
If you want to sit with this question, SelfChatter's journal is built for exactly this kind of inner work.