“The core reason why I am stressed at work is that actually I do not like my job.” If this resonates with you, this exercise may be valuable to you.
Self-Observation on why I am stressed at work
- A certain level of uneasiness kicks in even when I think about my job.
- I want to feel good at work but my stress, my anxiety kick in.
- This anxiety comes from the thought that I am not good enough.
- I feel shame and I want to comply.
- I find that my job is something that is not about enjoyment. Though I am looking for fulfillment in it.
- I just realize that my mindset is such that work for me is about complying and proving my worth. And about ‘begging’ to stay in it so that I feel some kind of safety.
Chain of thoughts coming when I am able to go deeper
- This is not normal. My job shall not be about proving my self-worth so that I can feel safe.
- I project my fear onto my job. This is how I gravitate towards jobs and this fear is behind how I work with people.
- This is not how everybody relates to their jobs. Some people truly love what they do.
- There is this revelation now: Actually, I do not even like my job. And this is totally understandable since the way I think about it is that ‘I need to prove myself because I am not good enough’.
- If I realized my self-worth, my view about how I want to work, and probably what I want to do would radically change.
- Stress would be gone, I would not think about why I am not capable, and how hard my work must be. I would just naturally go towards what I enjoy. Stress would not even come up.
- I may not even need to see my self-worth; it feels good now that I have an understanding of why I am stressed.
The above self-observation exercise is just one possible flow of associations. It is meant to stimulate you and by no means it is implied that it is about you.
(If you are new to the concept of self-observation or looking for some practical guidance then maybe read this article: How Self-Observation Works)
