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Why did I used to dream of flying?

Self-inquiry exercises • Inspiring • Limits • Loss September 5, 2026

"A dream that used to lift you and then stopped is telling you two things. And the second one, why it left, is usually the one worth sitting with."

If this resonates with you, what follows may help you see something about yourself.

Seeker
This is more of a nostalgia thing than a problem. When I was younger I used to fly in my dreams all the time. Like properly, off the ground, over rooftops. I just wondered what that was about.
Guide
What kind of flying? Everyone means something a bit different by it.
Seeker
Effortless. That was the thing. I’d just lift, no wings, no running start. Sometimes I’d realize I could do it and get this rush, like why don’t I do this every night. It felt more real than being awake, honestly.
Guide
More real than awake. Say more about that.
Seeker
I don’t know. Awake had rules. Up there it was just me and the air and I could go wherever. I’d wake up almost disappointed. Anyway, what does flying usually mean? Freedom, I’m guessing?
Guide
I don’t carry a chart for it. And I notice you said “used to” three times. When did they stop?
Seeker
Huh. I hadn’t thought about that being the question.
Guide
It just caught me. You brought them like a fond old thing. But something turned them off.
Seeker
I mean, life. I’m a nurse now, I’ve got two kids. I don’t exactly have time to dream about rooftops.
Guide
When did the flying ones actually go, though? Roughly.
Seeker
Probably my late twenties. Around when I qualified and we bought the flat. Everything got very… scheduled. Rotas, mortgage, all of it.
Guide
You said awake had rules and up there didn’t. What are the rules now?
Seeker
Ha. All of them. I know where I’ll be at 6am next Tuesday. I know it three weeks out. That’s not a complaint, it’s just the shape of it.
Guide
I believe you it’s not a complaint. But you got a little flat saying it.
Seeker
Yeah. Because the flying wasn’t about freedom exactly. It was about the possibility that I could just go up. Like the option was there. I don’t feel that option anymore.
Guide
The option.
Seeker
That’s the thing I miss. Not the flying. The sense that there was more than the ground. I’ve kind of agreed to the ground. I signed up for it and it’s fine but I forgot there was ever anything else.
Guide
You didn’t lose the flying. It sounds more like the part of you that expected lift got quiet.
Seeker
When you put it that way I feel a bit sad. Which is stupid, I chose all of this.
Guide
Two things can be true. You chose it and something in you still measures how far off the ground you are.
Seeker
I used to know I could go up. Now I don’t even look at the sky.
Guide
You want to say more about that, or let it sit?
Seeker
Let it sit, I think. I need to look at what I’ve filed under “younger me” and never checked again.

If the flying was never about escape but about knowing the option to rise was still there, where in your waking life did you quietly agree that the option was gone?

What actually shifted

Flying dreams that once came often may track a period when life still felt open and full of lift. For some, they fade as the waking attitude narrows around duty and routine. The more useful question is often not what flying meant, but what changed when it stopped, and what appetite for range got filed away as a younger self's thing.

Your turn

Where does this show up in your life?

Bring it as it is: a moment coming up, or the way it keeps returning. We find a step that fits how you want to live, and come back to how it went.

You make an account after Start. What you wrote is kept.

Or start from this question:

SelfChatter is a space for self-reflection, not therapy. It is not a medical device and does not diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any medical or mental health condition. For medical advice, talk to a doctor or another qualified professional. If you are in crisis, contact your local emergency services or a crisis line.

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