“I feel abandoned. And there is something fundamentally important behind it.”
If this resonates with you, what follows may help you see something about yourself. It is a real self-inquiry — one person’s inner dialogue on this question, unaltered except for readability.
Note that this is a somewhat different self-inquiry from the others, as some parts have been left out. You will probably catch where.
Self-inquiry on why I feel lonely
(More importantly, why can I just not get out of my loneliness?)
Obviously, I feel lonely because I am abandoned.
I know and feel that my problem is abandonment, but still, I am not over it.
It is a dead end this way. There must be something more to it.
After a lot of self-reflection and inquiry, this is what I got to: My problem is that I feel betrayed.
I gave everything into the relationship, and the other person betrayed me by not taking our relationship seriously.
This is a morality issue for me.
And this is beyond the two of us.
How can we, humans, have this capacity to betray one another? I am not talking about carelessness. I am talking about outright ignorance.
This is what my morality cannot digest at the moment, and this is the reason why I cannot get out of my loneliness.
When you feel lonely, is it the absence of people — or the absence of something you trusted that was taken from you?
If you want to sit with this question, SelfChatter’s journal is built for exactly this kind of inner work.