“I have a hard time starting things due to some unconscious fear. I want to figure out what it is.”
If this resonates with you, what follows may help you see something about yourself. It is a real self-inquiry — one person’s inner dialogue on this question, unaltered except for readability.
Self-observation on why I have a hard time starting things
- I really want to start that thing, but I am afraid of it. Why?
- It is because I feel I will not be able to concentrate on this thing I want to do.
- When I start it, I am afraid of what I will see.
- I think it will be something dreadful.
- I have a problem in me now which I ‘combine’ with the thing I want to do. I mean, I project my unconscious problem onto the things I want to start.
- Somehow, I am afraid I will not be able to do that thing.
- It is too hard. I am blocked. I am traumatized. This is the core of the problem, I think.
- I also feel sad.
- I feel unsafe.
- There is a mess in me. I am mixing things up.
Chain of thoughts coming when I am able to go deeper
- The fact that I am afraid is only part of my thinking, but not the whole thing.
- There is a reason outside of my understanding why I have a hard time starting things.
- It feels that I am waiting for things to start to flow ‘naturally’ without me pushing them. It doesn’t feel right that I need to push things.
- Maybe the time hasn’t come yet.
- Maybe my own self is helping me here so that I don’t do things that are not really for me.
What if the thing you can’t start isn’t actually hard — and the real difficulty is what starting it would make you see about yourself?
If you want to sit with this question, SelfChatter’s journal is built for exactly this kind of inner work.