This post contains insights, practical ideas, considerations, and food for thought about the practice of self-observation. While these can be handy, what we find truly important is the state of mind that makes self-observation work. We talk about that in this post: What makes self-observation work.
In self-observation, I look at my own self. I look at my thoughts, emotions, beliefs, my life in an unbiased, non-judgmental way. Self-observation is like a mirror; I can stand in front of it and look at my own self through it. It is my own consciousness in action. The outcome is not only that I see and understand myself better, but I am changing myself for the better. It is a natural talent and arguably one of the greatest gifts that we have.
Self-observation in practice
Being non-judgmental
We all want to get to a place where we are non-judgmental. It hardly ever happens. This is a more useful thought in my experience for such mortals as me: ‘Of course I am judgmental. This is because it is a hard thing I am dealing with. I do care, I am angry, or sad. I do want to escape. I do use judgment to justify why I am in this hard situation. Let me work myself through it.’ It is proper self-observation in practice when I realize my judgmental approach. When I work myself through the reasons why I am so judgmental, then I can start letting some of my judgments go.
When I analyze myself
When I observe myself, I also analyze myself. That is largely automatic with most of us, and we do not differentiate between self-observation and self-inquiry. But let me make a separation now. This is how most of us think this ‘process’ works: I do self-observation, and then I analyze myself based on what I observed. This is not how it works, and this is self-deception, actually. If I do self-observation/inquiry this way, then I basically analyze myself based on what I already know. No wonder many of us overanalyze ourselves and are stuck in a loop. Instead, this is how I should look at the practice of self-observation: The goal is to see myself clearly for what I am, how I behave (hence the need to be non-judgmental). This is the key: Self-observation generates insights. That’s the gold we are looking for. We are looking for that moment of insight, that sudden realization. Such a thing is not an outcome of analysis. If the insight triggers analysis, that’s cool. If I start to analyze because I actually do not know what’s up, then that is not necessarily a good sign.
When I am stuck, when there is no change
Being stuck can also happen for no apparent reason. There is a habit that you can build, and it is called ‘Touch and go’: You observe, you acknowledge, and you consciously decide to immediately go on.
Here is another idea, a method you can consider, and it is called EMDR, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. In a nutshell, it is a trauma elimination technique, and it helps the brain to reprocess traumatic information, allowing it to be a neutral memory. Beyond showing this technique to you, I bring this up because it points to something important about self-observation: EMDR is not considered a self-observation practice, but self-observation can have the same neutralizing effect. That is: Our mind processing or reprocessing something. No big insight, no conscious realization of something. Just ease. And new openings.
Doing self-observation as a daily routine
Let me be harsh: You will be missing out on self-observation’s spontaneous nature if you make it into a routine. Don’t control it. Don’t mistake self-observation for meditation. Self-observation is a tool and meditation is a state. Also, self-observation doesn’t need to last long to yield results. It is also true that the more often you do it, the better you get at it, and the more automatic it will become for you.
Self-observation for the greater good
Self-observation heals. It helps one to understand and accept the other more. It helps to take back our projections. It helps to develop the right outlook for the individual and for society at large.
Self-observation and enjoyment
I cannot think of a better way to wrap up this post than this. The more I practice self-observation, the more I enjoy my deep and colorful inner world. Nothing comes close to it.