Self-observation on why I am not successful enough

• I imagine myself very differently inside than how my life is on the outside.
• I dream of becoming successful but it just doesn’t seem to happen. 
• I am continuously trying everything. Harder and harder. Sometimes I am trying to be smarter, more self-confident, and even tried to ‘believe the universe will help me’.
• It is a constant struggle. I just know instinctively that it should not be a never-ending battle and overwhelm. 
• There must be something that can change this situation. 
• When I think of my abilities, my self-confidence drops. 
• Still, it is not about my abilities. Many others have less in many areas and they are still more successful than me. 
• When I observe myself, I feel a great level of uneasiness. 
• This uneasiness comes from my desire to achieve.
• My mindset is that if I push it more, I will achieve what I want. 
• No, this is not the way. There must be a better way.
• I admit I don’t know what to do exactly.

Chain of thoughts coming when I am able to go deeper

• Something is blocking me.
• I am not able to be myself.
• I am afraid to be myself. This is the block in me.
• I have low self-confidence and this is why reaching success is a struggle.
• No.
• Behind my low self-confidence is fear. Simple fear. Fear of losing my safety.
• The block is not my low self-confidence. That thought of myself that I have low self-confidence only happens as a result of my fear. The key is my fear.
• This is why I don’t ‘dare to jump’ and do what is needed for my success.
• And the way it works is that I block myself from being who I really am.
• I am not able to be that vibrant person who I want to be. 
• This fear is teaching me to see who I really am.
• This fear might even be more than that. I may be able to transform it into something that I miss now in myself.
• I will think about what I would like to transform my fear – my new friend – into.