“I have unconsciously set myself the life goal to achieve something big. Why?” If this resonates with you, then this self-inquiry exercise may be valuable to you.
Self-Observation on my desire to achieve something big
I can only think of my life that it must be a success story. By success, I mean something big. Anything else is almost meaningless and is many times just a waste of energy.
It is putting a burden on everything that I do in my life.
- Nothing is good enough.
It feels good to think about the time when I will be truly successful.
This is an order I have given myself. I feel I need to sacrifice myself for this.
This goal is not a cause but an effect. I understand from books, psychologists, and others that this is a sign that I have low self-esteem. I don’t see it this way.
I allow no real playfulness for myself. Now I realize that I sort of look down on people who are not hard-working super-achievers.
Everything is hard to achieve. Close to impossible.
I do not allow myself to fail.
Chain of thoughts coming when I am able to go deeper
I think I have set this goal for myself. I don’t remember when. But it is coming from me. At least this is how I perceive it.
My mindset is such that everything is very serious.
- I identified my life with this goal.
I just now realize that I have set myself a goal that is impossible to reach.
I also realize that there is something paradox in my thinking: I set a goal that is near-impossible to reach and only then I will be fine. But: I sort of ‘know’ that the only way to reach it is if I change completely. Then sadly it means that I must have a problem with my own self.
- Can I only reach what I want if I change myself? Is this a good logic and life goal?
The above self-observation exercise is just one possible flow of associations. It is meant to stimulate you, and by no means is it implied that it is about you.
