The bridge between a vibrant and a “grey” life. 

What is this mild sadness in me that is almost always there?

You probably feel it too that the word “mild” matters here. And what is going on here exactly?

We label it mild because the world around us is telling us that it is natural, it is ok, “Everybody has this”, “Why are you so sensitive?”, “Nothing happened! Shut up and carry on.”

We also find it mild because we can still live with it. We inherently feel that this thing is blocking us but we just do not know how to get out of it. I also think that this is mild because we make it mild for ourselves so that we can cope with it throughout our life. But this is not mild at all.

A possible explanation

Here is a possible cause that happens to the majority of us. Pretty much the same thing described in two different views.

• View 1: This mild sadness is a mild form of depression. They say that depression develops due to some loss. Almost. Depression also develops when we find that we ‘deserve’ something but we do not get it. So what would that mysterious thing be? More importantly, how is it that we are missing something but we cannot say what? The answer, with a relatively short explanation: We are all born with the inner knowing of how much our human life is worth, the enormous potential that is in us, and the possibilities for endless happiness. But as we go through life we find that we are nowhere near to that. This goes to the level of spiritual bankruptcy – what I mean is that we may be able to articulate that we did not receive the amount of love and care and attention that we wanted and still find that something is missing.
• View 2: In early childhood, the majority of us suffer what is called developmental traumas, that are never recognized, never treated. This is so widely spread that they are taken as normal and not taken seriously. These traumas can cause depression, anxiety, ADHD, toxic shame, and addictions. Just to name a few. Developmental trauma is very very hard to trace.  

How to work with this mild sadness? It may sound like an exaggeration but the fact that you are reading this article is a clear sign that you are working on it, making steps.