“I want to change from a mindset of hardships to a mindset of accepting success.” If so, then this exercise may be valuable to you.
Self-Observation on why I am afraid to win
- I dream about becoming successful but when I am getting closer to it – much to my surprise – I realize I am taking my time to get there. I realize that I am afraid.
- First I think I am afraid of losing, but actually no. I am afraid of what would happen if I finally got what I wanted.
- I am afraid to face it.
- Winning is not natural to me.
- I feel a strong level of suppression in me. This is in connection with my behavior that I don’t want to win. Only in my dreams.
- Maybe this is depression. But not only.
Chain of thoughts coming when I am able to go deeper
- I got used to not being successful. But this is not fully true either.
- It sometimes also feels like I am doing some kind of game. It feels as if I am not taking it seriously. Some kind of sabotage. I am not sure if this is something good or not.
- Anyways, it is very true that my mind is just not geared for this kind of life where I have satisfaction and winning. Rather it is geared for hardships. I am constantly on the lookout for what is wrong. I want to change this.
- This is also very true: Right the moment I get close to thinking about myself as a successful person I get disoriented and confused.
- Right now I think that I don’t dare to be successful because I don’t feel safe there. This is not a true conclusion. I will change this consciously.
- Well, When needed, I will let myself remember that I am safe if I am successful. I am not in danger.
The above self-observation exercise is just one possible flow of associations. It is meant to stimulate you and by no means it is implied that it is about you.
(If you are new to the concept of self-observation or looking for some practical guidance then maybe read this article: How Self-Observation Works)
