This is a story about how a beautiful day turned into a bad one, and then, with another twist, it turned into a great day.

So there was this early summer Sunday. Perfect weather, no commitments for the whole day, and things were promising for a relaxing day and good times.

And there was this guy – our main character. 

Around 3 in the afternoon, just when the temperature was good enough, he decided to go for a walk. He liked walking. Walking could calm him. He realized before that he had a hard time calming himself and walking did help a little (He also understood that it was those lots of thoughts that would not let him relax.). As he went on his usual walk near his place he discovered a new spot that he had never gone to before.

It was a small hill with a really nice park. He bought a coffee nearby and sat down in this park. It was a Sunday with quite many people, but the vibe was pretty relaxed so it did not take long for him to finally find some peace of mind. Yes, this guy had a hard time relaxing and pretty much felt miserable most of the time. He got used to it that nothing seemed to work out the way he wanted. 

But anyway, this day was a bit different. He had a really good time just watching people having a good time, the truly nice, early summer greenness of the park, and an occasional sip from his coffee. He even forgot to have his usual smokes. He just did not feel like it. Maybe after half an hour or so, he decided to leave and leave this small hill. So he took his phone and looked at the map where exactly he wanted to leave.

And BANG! Just at that moment, he got an email about a job he recently applied for. It was a rejection. It took him a minute to find a justification: “That’s ok, I did not really want this job anyways…” (which had some truth to it by the way. He just wanted to change as he felt miserable at his current job and it looked like a good escape.)

And BANG AGAIN!! Just when he decided he would not let himself feel bad about this email, a dog attacked him. It was a dog from a group of people having a picnic nearby. The dog seemed to have picked him as someone to piss off. The dog did not bite him but was truly annoying with its aggression. Until its owner stopped the dog and apologized.

So there he had it. Two minutes ago he was in almost complete calm, and now everything turned against him. Again! He was in despair. “Again, nothing seems to work and the world turns against me in a second. I thought I found a good spot and would have a good day. Far from it. I am now really having a bad day.”

So he gave in. Maybe it was that sheer difference between the two moments rather than what actually happened, but he really got pissed off as he was walking down that small hill. 

And BANG AGAIN!!! As he was walking down, telling himself things like “Why are these things happening to me? How can I be such a loser?”, a new thought appeared out of nowhere: “Oh my God, I think like a victim. I really do nothing else just feel miserable and feel like a victim.” The clarity of this was striking. He suddenly understood something about himself. He did know how much he was this type of person but it never got this close to him.

By the time he got back down into the busy streets of the city (he lives in a huge city) his thinking had a shift: He did to want to “feel like a victim and a loser” anymore but started to have an appetite for some action and confidence. His body posture also changed…He felt he was not walking with his head and shoulders pulled down, but straight up and relaxed. He was looking at people with a different mindset too. It was a fantastic feeling of relaxed confidence. 

(This is a story of victim consciousness. Or is it?)